Friday, March 5, 2010

stress: a waste of energy

When I get stressed, I start to complain and I'm lucky Matt doesn't get too annoyed. I guess complaining is a way to let stress out and make me feel good? Yea, doesn't make any sense. Matt will never show how bad things bother him, usually just rolls it off. I wish I could do it as easily as he does. So when I start to complain, usually about school, he tells me to stop being a baby by making a sad, pouty face and wimpering noises. Even though I find it annoying he makes such a face, I appreciate it. It let's me know I am being silly and and to get over it, but it's hard. The most torcherous part about being married is that he is not in school and I am taking a full load trying to end my 5-year escapade at BYU. I cannot believe I have been here for that long, it does not feel like it. I have a hard time focusing on the present when I just want to be living the future where I am in a beautiful world where I don't have to worry about writing papers or studying for tests.  I know I am going to miss these days and I'll be sad when they are over, but I love change and I am ready to move on. I don't think anyone else can do stress like I can. I have it mastered. I kind of build things up in my head and blow them way out of proportion. It does no good and I let it get to me. It just ruins my mood and stops me from enjoying myself in the moment and I am working on it. It is slowly, but surely getting better. I am thankful that I have a husband who won't let me dwell on things I have no control over and to just take care of things when they need to be taken cared of. Those pouty faces are just a reminder that what I am stressing about is not a big deal and it will pass.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

what we have to look forward to...or not

Matt was not satisfied with our first attempts to make a baby so he made another one here. Much better. It actually makes me really excited to see what are babies will look like. I can/cannot wait!